On the Mystical, the Magical, and the Mustering of Manifestation
by A. C. George
The solstice occurred on less than half an hour after midnight on the 22nd of December. It’s significant from a celestial viewpoint since it puts the Sun and Earth on the line connecting the galactic equatorial plane with the solar ecliptic plane. The line is also called the Galactic Meridian, and roughly points toward the center of the galaxy. It was thought that departing souls leave the earth in that direction, and enter incarnation from the opposite end of the zodiac; that of the galactic rim, located approximately between the signs of Gemini and Taurus.
On the day following the solstice the moon reached its fullness in the vicinity of the aforementioned area, between the constellations of Taurus and Gemini, and the Moon symbolizes the soul. Apparently, the Sun, the centaur Pholus and the dwarf planet Quaoar were at the Sagittarius/Scorpio end of the zodiac. I looked up the astrological particulars after the fact, and they very much described what I experienced as the solstice passed and moon reached fullness.
I experienced a softening of the energy I felt leading up to it, with a kind of resolution to an internal state of crisis that we very simple. I remembered why I dedicated my life to esoteric cultivation in the first place. It wasn’t to heal or fix myself, or the world. It wasn’t for power or control or even freedom from shackles. It wasn’t for experience of deity or any transcendent state or natural high of well-being. Sure all those are appreciated and accepted, but to make them my primary motive for something as demanding as esoteric cultivation ends up compromising, if not sabotaging, the process when all is said and done.
My real reason is one: to be authentic. It sounds simple. It isn’t. When we desire this or that, and hold a stance (attitude) that specializes that desire as if it were a distinct entity separate from all other desires, we lose the power to actualize it. I believe this is the real reason for the sabotaging of manifesting desires through what is often called “lust for results”. It’s because we treat each desire as an isolate, when it is part of a greater tapestry of magnetizing essence seeking fulfillment. This essence is like a field with which consciousness mates in order to create reality in our experience. If consciousness or spirit is an active agent without substance, as if electric in nature, then the field or magnetic matrix is a receptive agent; one bright and male-like and the other dark and female-like; yang and yin, god and goddess, shiva and shakti in tantric terms. Shakti literally means “power”, and specifically the power of the essence of consciousness or spirit, just as spirit is the consciousness of power. Consciousness of the field of power and identity with that consciousness is authentic being. Everything else like bliss, special abilities and strengths and all around desire fulfillment is a natural expression of being authentic.
Focusing on the specialized desires, however, is like looking for fruits when you have yet to locate the tree. Just walking around staring upward in the hope of finding a fruit is unlikely to get you one. Some probably find a fruit or two that way, if they are already close to the tree, but the rest of us can easily misread how that fruit came to them. So much of esoteric cultivation is placed in terms of abstract idealism that to the layperson it appears as if one just becomes a nicer individual, more like a saint, and why can’t I just act like one instead of having to invest so much or perhaps all my being toward something where reward doesn’t even seem real. Religious, philosophical and even mystical interpretations tend to marginalize if not demonize the matrix of desire, unless turned completely toward the actualization of core consciousness and divine identity.
At the other end is the occult pragmatist. Actually, they are more the practitioner of occult-driven immediacy; those who view power as a sort of tool to fulfill material desires. One interesting individual, for example, summed up their motivation for occult practice as doing it to “get laid, get paid and/or get even”. I have nothing against this ideology, other than my desire matrix does not want to practice methods geared toward those ends directly. Thus I am very weak in that kind of ‘magic’. Again, many modern day occultists and wannabes, especially of a western cultural persuasion, but not only, consider a practitioner to be a failure if they can’t even muster up these three fundamentals of material resource, intimate relationship and the ability to dole out punishment to those who deserve it.
It seems like a lot of work to me. That, at least, was the only answer I could give: laziness. But how can I be lazy and persist on so much seemingly thankless cultivation for decades on end? It’s not laziness. It’s the sense that I am barking up the wrong tree, and who wants to invest time, energy and self for that? I would say that sometimes we tend to conceptually forget our deeper motives, even though they never leave. I myself have years ago put my deeper motive into words, but I have never properly honored it by giving it my full comprehension; by answering why it is my motive and why that motive leaves other seemingly reasonable motives in the dust. Simply put, it includes all other motives and desires, without the added hassle of having to deal with each and every one separately as its own distinct entity.
So yeah, my sense is to refrain from wasting myself on a misconception. I don’t care what that’s called. On the other hand, the simple act of admitting verbally that I just want to be authentic in the deepest and truest existential sense of the word sends a warm flow through me. It establishes a sense of deep meditative well being without even focusing formally that way. Something responds and something smiles; something vibrates profound love and agrees: Yes!
So that is where I find myself a day after the solstice, aligned with my very essence as if finally coming home to parts of my younger self after letting them go temporarily to trudge through a path too rough for them to follow. These were parts of my earlier esoteric experiences, where a sense of power, well being, knowing and understanding flowed and I had tangible experiences of influencing events in my favor. I find myself feeling gratitude for this reunion and expressing sorrow that the split had to occur. Yet I have no regrets. All my parts, and the whole beyond them, will do anything to actualize authenticity as the full potential of embodiment. We/I know beyond the shadow of doubt that anything undertaken toward that end is not only good and right and healthy, but also that it must be done, period, without any further need for justification. That, to me, is successful esoteric cultivation.